Another trip to another town to see my husband…..again (sorry honey, but this traveling to be with you thing is tiring). This time, my husbands tree planting work took us to a beautiful area in the Robson valley, close to the town of McBride. I will tell you, I love this area – it has mountains, a decent growing season, affordable land, farmers, and a wicked awesome music festival that commences every August. I would think about living here except that there isn’t a lot of work and the town of McBride is quite small and lacking some essentials (like a health food store), also my friends and family aren’t there! (most important).
We stayed in a house with 6 other tree planters. We had a couple bedrooms to ourself but with paper thin walls, I felt guilty when Christopher would wake up at night and cry. These tree planters work so hard and wake up so early that I didn’t want to disturb their sleep. I will say, it is tough being a parent with three children around people who have no children, I became so acutely aware of my children’s noise level, worrying that they may be irritating someone, it was frustrating feeling guilty for my children’s normal behavior, telling them to shhhh and trying to keep them quite. We went to bed early, because everyone else was tired or sleeping, we ate dinner early, so that the table was available for them when they got home.
Luckily we had the day to ourselves when they were all at work, we jumped on the trampoline, I played with my camera and the girls watched TV (ugh, that darn thing). We spent one day in town, visiting the library and a small farmers market (there was a lady making food outside, I had a yummy bun with pulled pork and pickled onions – it was soooo good).
Being around people my own age who have no children, I felt like my 3 children made a huge family. I questioned my choice in having 3 kids. Did I make a mistake? Should I have waited to have children? Should I be “finding myself”, traveling, relishing my young adult years? I felt lost, alone. There was no one to relate to, except my husband, my wonderful husband. He is why we went, he is why I put up with being in this environment for 4 days. We came to be with him on his birthday. We came to make his day special. We baked him a cake and the girls bought him some soap from the local farmers market.
After we left and I was home, I felt much more at ease and much more at peace with my life. I love my children, I am glad I had my first when I was young (21). The amount of joy and learning I have experienced with my children in these last 10 years is indescribable. I would rather see my children smile, hear them laugh, be with them when they cry then be a 20 something nomad who gets to sleep in every morning and do whatever I want. Yes, I am so very glad that I have my children, all 3 of them! I am so very glad that I am a Mother.